On Moving, Traveling, and Being Present

Harper Lee Cat in the Yard
Harper has been enjoying our new yard!

I’ve been living in Lancaster City for two full months now. It feels both much shorter and much longer than that to me though. Similarly, we’re quite solidly in midsummer, yet it feels like the summer just began. I’m fairly certain that’s because I haven’t really been here here for a lot of that time.

I’m certainly not complaining about the amount of travel I’ve been doing, but it does make it hard to establish oneself in a new place. My goal was to show up here, throw myself into everything Lancaster, make new call-up-at-a-moment’s-notice friends for impromptu backyard hangs, set up coffee dates with Lancaster folks from Twitter and Instagram, jump into the tech scene, and just generally announce that I AM HERE LET’S BE FRIENDS.

Except I haven’t been here. And when I have been, I’ve been working on, well, work, or working on the house, which is a whole other series of posts unto itself. We’ve barely scratched the surface of all there is to be done in the moving-in, fixing-up-the-house department.

I’m noticing a pattern about what happens when we move to a new place.

When we moved to West Chester, Chad actually moved two and half months before I did. I’d travel down on the weekends, but I was loathe to quit my job and so I procrastinated joining him there.

When we moved to Philly, Chad was commuting to Manhattan every day, and I was commuting to the western suburbs. I got home in time to make supper before he walked in the door, devoured it, and then crashed so he could get up the next day and do it again. We were so excited to finally be living in Philly, but had no time or energy left to throw ourselves into getting involved right away.

And now, during the past two months we’ve lived in Lancaster (and now three months since becoming homeowners!), we’ve collectively been to the Bay Area twice, Chicago, Chapel Hill, and back to the farm for a family reunion.

I never mean to busy myself so intensely during times of deep change, but somehow it seems to happen pretty regularly. I don’t think I’ve been doing it on purpose, especially since I had all of this travel lined up before we closed on the house, but I am wondering about how it’s become so much of a pattern, even if it is unintentional. And, to be frank, sometimes periods of big change are just weird. Both good weird and bad weird. So sometimes it’s nice to be too busy to think.

On a smaller scale though, I have been less than stellar at being present. Always thinking of the next project, the next trip, the next thing to tackle. Maybe it just becomes especially apparent during big transitions. I’m hoping bringing some self-awareness to this area will help going forward and motivate me to appreciate and be where I am right now.

I got a Lancaster County library card this week, both because I’m in need of a good summer read (got recs?) and as a small act of ingraining myself into this place.

What do big moves look like for you? Do you accidentally over-busy yourself or do you manage to be where you are?


Comments

6 responses to “On Moving, Traveling, and Being Present”

  1. I’m constantly over-booking myself, over-busying myself. I made three goals on my birthday for the next year, one of those is being present. In the last few days since my birthday, I’ve made plans to make that a reality. We’ll have to compare tips & tricks on accomplishing present.

    1. Yes! I wanna hear what your plans are on how to actually accomplish this. It feels like kind of a nebulous goal, but I’m sure there are concrete things we can do it help it along!

      1. Yes! We’ll have to get together for real talk! So far, none of those plans have come to fruition, but each week is a new week, right?

  2. First, I need to know everything about walking your cat on a leash.

    Second, I love reading about your transition to Lancaster and adjusting to all these changes. I’ve lived in Austin all my life (well, for part of it I was living in a suburb <20 minutes from downtown), so I've never experienced a change quite like this. When I went to college, I still knew people from high school. When I left college, I already had a friend group at work and a growing community of creatives by my side. My job has very recently gone completely remote, so it's made moving a possibility (though still not one I'm too keen on). I like change, but having to start over absolutely terrifies me. Even moving into a house, something I really want, seems like a daunting transition right now.

    That said, I definitely think it's natural to both want to dive into the next project and want to take it easy/enjoy this period of newness. An idea: maybe as you start accomplishing things around the house, make coffee dates/schedule backyard hangs to help you take little breaks between accomplishments. I think I'd feel like I needed to have the house completely "done" before having anyone over, but would actually benefit from sharing the process.

    Okay, sorry (not sorry) for the novel of a comment. Sending lots of love and present-ness your way.

    1. Definitely be not sorry about your novel of a comment!

      I think what frustrates me sometimes is that I know it’s really not that huge of a change. I didn’t leave Pennsylvania. I actually moved somewhat closer to home, and culturally Lancaster County is so similar to where I’m originally from that it feels a little like a homecoming, even though it really isn’t. I’m still an hour train ride from Philly, so that’s not far away either.

      I know there are bigger changes, and I tend to discount things I experience if I know other people have more intense experiences, if that makes sense. I didn’t become a digital nomad (much to Chad’s dismay), or move across the world, for example. But it is still a change, and I should try to get better at making space for that. And this house thing… that is definitely new for me.

      xo

    2. Also, thank you so much for your awesome af email pep talk the other week. There’s more Lancaster/house posts headed your way, and you helped me make it happen ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’š

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