Yes to One Thing, No to Ten

Yes to one thing, no to ten.

In April, when I spoke at the Women in Tech Summit, the panel moderator asked us all what we’d do if we weren’t afraid. The first thing that came to my mind was that I’d say no more. At the time, it seemed like such a novel and revolutionary and original idea. I said something like, “This may sound weird, but…” and then someone in the crowd shouted back “NO! Not weird at all!”

After a total glut of overcommitment this summer, I’m really trying to examine how I’m spending my time and why. I want to make sure I’m leaving time to take care of myself, which includes spending time with loved ones, traveling, writing, and reading books. Leaving time to be spontaneous. Leaving time to learn new skills and get better at what I do.

A few months ago, I saw brilliant and dear Erin Anacker mention that every time you say yes to one thing, you say no to ten other things. It’s stuck with me.

What’s the one thing that sounds fun today, or that I’m committing to just to fill my time, that will inherently prevent me from doing ten other things? What if one of those ten other opportunities was a better fit?

The goal is not to second guess ourselves at every turn, rather to flesh out how to ensure that the ways we’re spending our time align with our goals. It’s to make sure we’re actually doing those things we say we want to be doing, but often get lost in a sea of self-imposed obligations.

What’s worth saying yes to if it means you’re saying no to ten other opportunities?


Comments

13 responses to “Yes to One Thing, No to Ten”

  1. You’re right, sometimes it seems revolutionary. It’s something that I’ve figured out how to do in my work life, but somehow I still find it very difficult to do in my work life. Saying no to making plans or going to a party or a wedding is difficult for me, I always feel like I want to be there for everybody. But I guess maybe that’s what greeting cards are for.

    1. Ha! That’s a really great point. There are still ways to show people that you’re interested & you care while also guarding your time.

  2. I absolutely loved this! Life sometimes feels so short. We just need to live for us and the people we love. I am really bad at saying no. Thank you for sharing 🙂 I am about to send you something in the mail fyi!!

    http://neatly-packaged.com/

    1. Ooooh, I’m looking forward to it!

  3. What I find most challenging about life are the choices I have to make. When I said Yes to something I was afraid of missing out the other 10 opportunitie

    1. Ehhh you may want to delete the “PS” part of your comment. You showed support and camaraderie well with the first part, but an appearance-focused comment can make people uncomfortable (see #7 in this article).

      1. I understand. Deleted.

  4. YES to my family often means NO to many other things, but that is never a question.

    1. I’m sure!

  5. This is very inspiring. Thank you!

    1. I’m glad! Thanks for reading, Kate!

  6. Found this http://sivers.org/hellyeah via someone else’s post and it reminded me of yours 🙂

    1. I love this so much! Thanks for sharing it!

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